Engineers' Laws

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Under the most carefully controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, humidity and other variables, the system will perform as It damn well pleases.
--Grundman's Law
A pat on the back Is only a few centimeters from a kick In the pants.
--Knight's Law
Nothing Is Impossible for a man who doesn't have to do the work.
-- Hidley's Law
When In doubt, mumble
--Duncan's Law
Every man has a scheme that will not work.
--Evan's Law
A theory Is better than Its explanation.
--Hulko's Law
The amount of work done varies Inversely with the amount of time spent In the office.
--Storyk's Law
Any sufficiently advanced technology Is Indistinguishable from magic.
--Woram's Law
Everything goes wrong at once.
--Nordahl's Law
In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible course.
--Emerman's Law
The obvious answer Is always overlooked.
--Tarsia's Law
It works better If you plug It In.
-- Snoddy's Law
There Is always an easy answer to every problem -- neat, plausible, and wrong.
--Harrison's Law
It won't work.
--Meadow's Law
The first 90 percent of the project takes 10 percent of the time, and the last 10 percent takes the other 90 percent.
--Westlake's Law
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them Is to use a larger can.
--Harned's Law
Anything that begins well will end badly. [Note: The converse of this law Is not true.]
--Schnee's Law
Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
--Stone's Law
A man with one watch knows what time It Is. A man with two watches Is never sure.
--Golden's Law
If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
--Perry's Law
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
--Garay's Law
Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.
--Kelsey's Law
If It happens, lt must be possible.
--Lightner's Law
Social Innovations tend to the level of minimum well being.
--Steele's Law
The probability of a given event occurring Is Inversely proportional to Its desirability.
--Guy's Law
As soon as you mention something, If It's good, It goes away; If It's bad, It happens.
--Moyssiadis' Law
If It can find a way to wear out faster, It will.
--Capps Law
if a research project Is not worth doing, It is not worth doing well.
--Lippell's Law

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