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Time Distortion: Makes guitar solos seem longer. Can also be
achieved by ineptitude. |
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Paralytic Equalizer: Makes you as good as other guitarists by
injecting them with nerve toxins. |
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Blame Shifter: Shifts mistakes down one octave so
that the audience thinks it was the bass player. |
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Depander: Filters out popular cover songs. |
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Overjive: Makes Hootie songs sound like Parliament. |
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Active Pickups: Amplifies "signals" sent to attractive audience
members. |
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Fluff Box: Filters out excessive musical substance. |
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Rehash: Stores and plays back your favorite riffs constantly and
forever. |
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Feedback Eliminator: Drowns out "constructive criticism." |
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Band Pass Filter: Eliminates sexual advances between band
members. |
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Depressor: Changes any chord to E minor. |
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Off Switch: Improves the sound of your amplifier. |
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